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User blog:Blue Jay Superior/penguinƨ.jay - Part 2
Hey there, this is the second half of penguins.jay, a crossover event between penguins.doc and Q&Jay. If you haven't read the first part, you can read it here. In the comments, tell me your favorite joke in this part of the story, and if I get three comments of that, I'll start Season 2 of Q&Jay (yes, I know that on How? I said that I would start it if I got five comments of the favorite episode, but I changed it :P). Without further adieu, penguins.jay! ---- Helmet: Can I go home now? Smulley Superior: No. Helmet: *stuffs donuts down Sasquatch's throat and teleports away* Smulley Superior: *chokes* Charlie: *flies over* Wait, if Sasquatch chokes to death, then what will happen to Smulley Superior? Jay: I dunno, he'll probably take over the next closest body he can find. Charlie: Hmm- *gets blasted out of sky by Gizmo* Gizmo: *turns on camouflage mode and assumes the form of Charlie* Phew! That was close! Jay: ...Didn't you just blow up? Gizmo: No... Robutler: *over telepathic headset to Gizmo* What should we do next? Gizmo: Turn on camouflage mode and look like me. Robutler: But won't that make them want to shoo- Gizmo: This'll be fun, trust me. Robutler: ...Okay... *turns into Gizmo* Jay: Look! There's Gizmo! *flies at* Robutler: Crap... Jay: Wait a minute, since when could I fly... Whatever. I BELIEVE I CAN FL- *falls* AHH! You've been able to fly before... I think. Jay: Oh, right... *flies at Robutler* Robutler: AHHHHH...! ...This is taking a while. *goes to the Coffee Shop, orders everything on the menu, eats/drinks all of it, and pays, then returns* Jay: You did all of that while I was flying at you? Robutler: How can you read text? Locy: *suddenly appears in the sky and smacks Robutler with a frying pan, then falls* Long silence. Robutler: Aren't you going to save her? Jay: I'm sure she'll be fine. *flies at Robutler* Robutler: *uploads self to computer, then deactivates* Smulley: HEY! THAT'S MY THING! Jay: CHARLIE! Hey, where'd Robutler go? Gizmo: Uh, I took care of him while you were doing that... Heh heh... Smulley Superior: *climbs back up mountain with helmet* I HAVE RETRIEVED THE HELMET! Helmet: LET GO OF ME- Smulley Superior: NOT YOU, FOOL! *throws Helmet off side of mountain* This time, I'm not going to think about your deaths, I'm going to defeat you by hand! NOBODY HAS EVER BEEN ABLE TO DO THAT BEFORE, RIGHT? Jay: Actually, there was this one time when- Smulley Superior: I DO NOT CARE! *puts on helmet and turns into his Hacksquatch form* YOU REMEMBER THIS? *grows gigantic and tries to stomp on Gizmo and Jay* Jay: Uh, I STILL think I missed something. *runs away* Gizmo: NO! *is stomped on and falls out of the sky* Jay: CHARLIE! Charlie: *climbs back to the top of the mountain* Yes? Jay: *moves eyes between Charlie and flattened-Gizmo-that-looks-like-flattened-Charlie* Uh... *flies down* Charlie, are you okay? Charlie: I think my leg is broken. Jay: But we don't have legs... Charlie: Fine. Those two spaces between my stomach and feet are broken, happy? Flattened Gizmo: *lands next to them and pulls out an even flatter ray gun* This isn't over yet! *gets eaten by Hacksquatch* Hacksquatch: This is my kill, not yours! *lands on ground with a heavy thud* Interroid, apprehend them at once! Interroid: With pleasure. *grabs Jay, slaps him across the face seven times, and grabs him by his collar* WHERE'S RACHEL?! Jay: *puts up flipper* Uh... Interroid: *looks up* Oh crap... Locy: *lands on Interroid, frying pan first* Charlie: Why'd it take her so long to fall...? Interroid: Head trauma detected, emergency shutdown activated. *transforms into a small toaster* Fat Mario: YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, ALL TOASTE- *gets eaten by Hacksquatch* Hacksquatch: MUST I DO EVERYTHING AROUND HERE?! Charlie: You know what, go ahead and try to kill us! I dare you! Jay: CHARLIE! Charlie: What are you worried about? You know something random's going to pop out at the last minute and save us from dying. If we both died these series wouldn't go on and it's been confirmed that there'll be more after this. Locy: *prepares frying pan* Assid: And I'M the one who overuses gags? Locy: *hits Assid instead, killing him* Jay: Seriously, that's all it took?! Charlie: Oh don't worry, he'll be back by the next episode of penguinƨ.doc. He always is. Smulley: *flies over to Hacksquatch* Our entire army is down, sir! It's just me and you! Hacksquatch: *snaps Smulley in half* Smulley: *leaves his body just in time and goes back to his origin computer* Hacksquatch: If you want something done right, you have got to do it yourself. Jay: What are you going to do to us? Hacksquatch: *imagines a hole of nonexistence* THIS IS A HOLE OF NONEXISTENCE! Jay: I know, I can read. Locy: *almost smacks Jay with a frying pan, but the frying pan is sucked into nonexistence* Charlie: Well, there goes that running gag. Everybody forgets about the frying pan. Locy: What am I doing here? Jay: No idea... Charlie: Jay, is there a way to destroy Hacksquatch with your staff? Assid: *is alive, because the frying pan never existed* That's what she sa- *is sucked into nonexistence* Everybody forgets about Assid. Jay: I feel like the universe was just rid of something that shouldn't have been here in the first place. Charlie: Me too... Hacksquatch: Okay, guys! NOW, YOU WILL NEVER EXIST! *imagines that Charlie and Jay are in the hole of nonexistence* Suddenly, the hole closes. Hacksquatch: WHAT? Jay: You created the hole to make us never exist. Charlie: And, if we never existed, that hole would never exist. Hacksquatch: NO! COME ON! Everybody forgets about the hole. Jay: No, I don't think there's a way to defeat him with my staff. Charlie: *glances at Wingman and the Snowstone* You have a puffle and a weapon with you, too, right? Jay: Yes, why? *reads Charlie's mind* THAT'S A GREAT IDEA! Charlie: Do you think we should tell the audience? Locy: *shivers* I feel like there was supposed to be a running gag here or something... Jay: No, nobody EVER reveals the plan in television shows, books, movies, etc. because of plot convenience, so why should we? Locy: *shivers* There it is again... Hacksquatch: *imagines another hole of nonexistence without knowledge of the first hole of nonexistence* THIS IS A HOLE OF NONEXISTENCE! Jay: I know, I can read... Is it just me, or are you experiencing- Charlie: Déjà vu? Jay: Yeah... Maybe we should just throw him into that hole of nonexistence. Charlie: *has already thrown him in* What? Suddenly, Hacksquatch is back, and the hole is closed. Hacksquatch: If I never existed, the hole would never be created! Everybody forgets about the hole. Again. Jay: Okay, should we do our plan? Charlie: Yeah. *stuffs Wingman and the Snowstone into Jay's staff* Wingman: HEY! I did not agree to this! Come to think of it, how is this even possib- mph! 42: At least I'm not- Jay: *stuffs 42 into the staff* Okay, let's do this. 42: What the are experiencing technical difficulties. Share the frustration.?! Charlie and Jay grab hold of the staff, and it starts shooting icy rainbow hearts at Hacksquatch. Hacksquatch: AHHH! ...this is awkward. Helmet: *steals the helmet* Oh, the irony. *imagines yet another hole of nonexistence without any knowledge of previous hole of nonexistence* Hacksquatch: GIVE THAT BACK! *is ambushed with icy rainbow hearts* GAH! Helmet: *throws helmet into the hole of nonexistence* Well, you better go catch it! Hacksquatch: YOU CAN'T TRICK ME- *is busted into the hole by the icy rainbow hearts* Helmet: Well, he's not coming back. Jay: Hey, you created the hole to defeat him, so he'll just reappear. Helmet: Actually, I created this hole so I could throw pie in it. *throws pie in the hole* Jay: Well, won't that come back? Helmet: It's too small to come back, like the helmet, which can be sucked in even though it was the object that created it. The hole finally closes Wingman: Wait, what about Assid? Doesn't this mean that he never went into the hole? Charlie: Considering the fact that we all suddenly know who Assid is, I guess so. Everyone groans Jay: Well, we all agree that I did an amazing job today. Charlie: Hey, you couldn't have defeated him without me! Your staff never would have never took him down without the Snowstone! Jay: LIAR! I DID! Charlie: NO, I DID- Helmet: Actually, I did- Everyone forgets about Smulley Superior/Hacksquatch, the helmet, and pie. ADL: I LOVE CAKE!!! Charlie: Uh, what are we doing here at the dojo? Jay: I can't seem to remember... From a distant elevation, an orange, ghost-like entity seemingly watches them before floating away. Meanwhile, in the Central Hub of the Internet... Herbert: So... Am I just stuck here then? It's boring being stuck in a place where you can control the entire internet. Wait, this helmet... Can't I just think of another portal out of here? THE END. Category:Blog posts